Backing up, starting over
So many things have happened since I wrote last. J and I have come to the agreement that as much as we'd like to get married right now, there are just too many doubts, too many issues that have come to light, to consider that a viable option. So we are still together, still dating, just not rushing into forever. He still disciplines me, on a regular basis (I got one last night for sassing) but not as much marriage talk, no sexual intimacy, just backing up and getting to know each other better. We're giving time for either the doubts to fade, or for things to become clear one way or another. The doubts are almost entirely on my side, but he is being patient with me. I am the kind of person that wants to rush into something good, and then sees the not-so-good and gets horrible buyers remorse. I dont' want that with a marriage. I'm also not sure if he is "the one." Or ist here even a "one"? It doesn't seem practical that there would be. I